


Green Light

by mochacutie



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: Fluffy and sweet, M/M, Mutual Pining, anthony questions his sexuality, is sebastian stan a sexuality?, lots of gentle touching, sexual tension but no smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:02:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25513990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochacutie/pseuds/mochacutie
Summary: Anthony Mackie is very confused because Sebastian Stan keeps making him feel things. Gooey, warm, ridiculously un-platonic things. It's getting harder and harder not to fall for those baby blues, and Anthony just prays he can keep his head above water.
Relationships: Anthony Mackie/Sebastian Stan
Comments: 7
Kudos: 117





	Green Light

Sebastian made Anthony question where he stood on the spectrum of sexuality. 

Anthony knew he liked women. He had for most of his life, in a raw, primal way. Romantically. Sexually. Wholly. Men caught his eye, but only for fleeting moments, like a shadow that faded away when he focused too hard. 

But then he thought about Sebastian — and everything was slow and easy, pressure curling up inside him like a slow-simmering oven top. 

“Sebastian. Looking good.” Anthony pretended to talk into a mic. “Arriving at the scene looking sexy as hell. How _does_ he do it?”

Sebastian laughed, and shifted uncomfortably. The pleasant expression on his face was contrasted by his bitten lip and shy gaze. “Thanks, Mackie.”

It made Anthony’s stomach turn. Sebastian was a Hollywood _star._ There were fan accounts dedicated to how attractive he was. Yet, when Anthony showered him with compliments, he would still react so sincerely. Getting all flustered and—

It just made Anthony want to do it more. Made him want to assault Sebastian with compliments until he was blushing from head to toe. He shut down the line of thought, not wanting to be weird. He didn’t need to make things weird. 

Especially when he didn’t understand what the hell these feelings were. They weren't quite sexual, but they also weren't platonic. They were somewhere in this grey space that Anthony didn’t quite understand. And Anthony didn’t really _want_ to understand. 

Not when these feelings frightened him, like a tsunami ready to overtake his control. 

* * *

Maybe part of the problem was that Sebastian was soft. He played Bucky’s silent-killing-brainwashed-soldier persona so well. He had that steel-cold piercing gaze. Could probably play a sociopath better than most of the cast. 

But Sebastian was soft. His eyes crinkled when he laughed, and he always made eye contact, like he had to share the laugh with Anthony. He would grin at Anthony like Anthony’s ass was spitballing sunshine. He showed his affection all over his face. 

Anthony figured that only a spawn of satan could be immune to Sebastian’s charms. He reasoned that his heart fluttering was a normal response to someone akin to a baby deer. 

Everyone liked baby deer, didn’t they?

* * *

“Is that black coffee?” Anthony said, aghast. 

Sebastian stood by the coffee machine. He looked wiped, hair curled messily around his ears and faint smudges of purple underlining his eyes. “Black coffee is the only acceptable way to have coffee.”

“Seba _stian_!” Anthony cried out. “That’s gross. I - my three sugar ass could never.” 

Sebastian crinkled his eyes, and Anthony felt the familiar _oh-god-I’m-weak_ feeling overcome him. “That’s funny,” Sebastian said.

“Your taste for awful coffee is not a laughing matter.”

“I just love black coffee.” Sebastian grinned. “You like it…. Lighter. Maybe one would even say, more vanilla?” 

“You’re ridiculous.” Anthony rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help but snort at the joke. He only let Sebastian make those kinds of jokes. He’d been the one to start them, after all - vanilla ice, and chocolatechino. Still, it always made his mind wander.

He didn’t realize when they’d gotten so close. Press tours, hotel rooms, long flights. Instant chemistry. They played off of each other so well, and Anthony had never found himself like that with _anyone._

The chemistry may have been platonic… but if there was only one person in the world he had that with, didn’t that make it a _little_ weird?”

Sebastian cocked his head to the side. “You’re spacing out again. You always do that lately.”

Anthony flicked his eyes over. Casual. He had to be casual. “Yeah. Sorry I don’t drink bitter, disgusting coffee to keep myself awake.” He walked away, but he could feel Sebastian’s smile, and, well, fuck. 

Anthony didn’t need coffee when he had that rush of fondness keeping him awake.

* * *

The worst was when they shared hotel rooms. See, the thing was, there was something - Anthony didn’t want to say it - _domestic_ about the whole situation. They’d gotten so used to each other. 

Anthony knew that Sebastian’s suitcase was always a mess (Sebastian would quip, “Hey, my suitcase has to reflect my life!”). 

Sebastian would always take the bed closest to the window, because Anthony once told him that he was easily awakened by morning sunlight. 

Sebastian always got shy around strangers, so Anthony was the one who’d talk to room service, or make calls. It wasn’t that Sebastian couldn’t do it. He did interviews and press tours all the time. But he didn’t _like_ to. 

And Anthony certainly didn’t mind picking up the slack. Didn’t mind the way Sebastian relaxed around him. Didn’t mind the way Sebastian would sometimes sit on his bed until the very last moments of daylight ended. Didn’t mind when Sebastian got too sleepy and let his head rest on Anthony’s shoulder. 

Didn’t _mind._ Didn’t mind. 

Was “Didn’t mind?” a sexuality? 

* * *

( _The problem was that if Sebastian ever asked Anthony to spend the rest of their life together, in some faraway cottage, chilling and sharing jokes and fond kisses, Anthony would probably say yes. Because he_ **_didn’t mind_** ) _._

* * *

Sebastian liked to bite his lip. A lot. 

Anthony first noticed it in interviews, and thought Sebastian did it to look sexy. It certainly seemed that way, because nobody else in the world looked so fuckable biting their lip out of habit. (Did Anthony say fuckable? He meant... appealing. To the ladies. Of course).

But once he’d noticed it in interviews, Anthony noticed it everywhere. When they were sitting together, hunched over laughing about some stupid joke. When Anthony complimented him, when he insulted him, when Seb was studying his lines. He did it all the time. 

“You know. You bite your lip a lot,” Anthony announced.

They were sitting in the hotel room, passing time by playing cards of all things. Sebastian had a look of concentration, nibbling on his lower lip. Anthony was losing the game, because all he could do was stare at Sebastian’s mouth. 

Sebastian stopped biting his lip. He reached up and touched his mouth with his hand, a confused, fleeting expression on his face. “Oh.”

“It’s… distracting.” 

Fuck. Did Anthony just say that? He had to play it cool. He made jokes like this all the time. “Yeah, you know. Trying to be sexy. And failing. How can I not be distracted by such a shitshow?” 

Sebastian laughed. “Oh? Are you sure it’s just not my pure sex appeal that’s distracting?”

No. ( _Possibly_ ). 

“What sex appeal?” Anthony said. 

Sebastian pouted. “You said I was sexy in interviews!”

Anthony cleared his throat. “I would remember lying like that.”

“ _Hey._ ” Sebastian crawled over to him, cards forgotten. “I’m _very_ sexy." He sat in front of Anthony and Anthony held his breath. The air in the room was suddenly thick and unbearable. Then Sebastian dropped his head on Anthony’s shoulder, his giggle ghosting the awkwardness. They just sat there, Sebastian in front of Anthony, head bent forward on his shoulder. 

“What are you doing?” Anthony asked softly. He resisted the urge to reach out and pet Sebastian’s hair. 

“I just want to be close to you.”

Anthony’s heart swallowed him whole. “I - _Seb._ ”

Sebastian lifted his head up. His blue eyes: the depth of the Pacific ocean, the freedom of the sky. The sincerity of a blooming flower. “What is it?” He frowned. “I thought we’re best friends. We don’t need stupid bro-boundaries.”

Bro-boundaries. Was that why Anthony’s heart was racing so hard he thought his ribcage was going to break? Because they were breaking bro-boundaries? 

Sebastian bit his lower lip again. Anthony could still smell the scent of Sebastian’s shampoo by his nose. 

Everything about his relationship with Sebastian was too much, yet not enough. But if Sebastian wanted to break bro-boundaries… Anthony hesitantly reached over and carded his hand through Sebastian’s hair. 

Sebastian smiled at the affection. He closed his eyes and crawled closer again, returning to his previous position. Anthony tried to still his heartbeat, afraid that Sebastian could hear the incessant pounding. 

Best friends. 

If this was what best friends did, Anthony could live with that. 

* * *

“You know,” Chris was saying. “I read this psychology article about favours.” 

Sebastian squinted under the summer sun. “You know there’s a lot of bullshit out there.”

Anthony sat with his legs dipped into the hotel pool, watching Chris and Sebastian toss a pool ball to each other. Sebastian’s skin glowed under the sun. His hair dripped down his neck, and his swim trunks dipped just enough for Anthony’s eyes to stray to Sebastian’s hip bones. 

“It was a _real_ study,” Chris said defensively. “See, everyone thinks that if you want to get close to someone, you should do them favours, yeah?”

“Like, sexual favours?” Sebastian said. 

Anthony snorted, and Sebastian glanced over at him and smiled. 

“ _No,_ ” Chris choked out. “Regular, decent favours.”

“ _Riiight._ ” Sebastian rolled his eyes, and made eye contact with Anthony again. He winked. Anthony chuckled, but his stomach turned. _Sexual favours._ Why did Sebastian have to look at him like that while half-naked, about such a topic? With his slicked, wet hair, and intense baby blues? 

Anthony was pretty sure he was losing his mind.

“Listen. Guys.” Chris stared at the both of them helplessly.

“Sorry.” Sebastian stifled a laugh. “Please go on.”

Chris glared, but he continued. “It turns out that doesn’t actually work quite so well. People actually like you more when you _let_ them do favours for you. It’s a weird psychological thing. Like, if they take care of you, then in their head, they think - I must really like this guy.”

“That sounds like pseudoscience.” Sebastian sunk himself under water before Chris could splash him.

But Anthony mulled that over, tilting his head. Was that part of why he liked Sebastian? Most guys were too far up their own asses to accept help. 

But Sebastian. He let Anthony do little things that were sweet. Like, sometimes, Anthony would find his hand on Sebastian’s back when Seb wobbled in his footing. Or, whenever Sebastian felt uncomfortable in an interview, he’d look at Anthony, as if waiting for Anthony to help him out. 

Things started to clear up a little. Maybe this was just a platonic relationship with more intensity than usual, because Sebastian was able to be vulnerable around him. 

Sebastian stepped out of the water, dripping wet, and Anthony snapped out of his thoughts. He found himself staring yet again as Sebastian toweled off. Anthony’s eyes trailed down the panes of Seb’s chest, to his hips and faint happy trail. 

Fuck. 

He wasn’t sure if psychology could explain the fact that he couldn’t keep his eyes off every inch of Sebastian’s body.

* * *

It was fall. Nearing winter. The tree branches looked naked and sad against the drooping gray sky. Anthony tried not to sigh. He hated this weather. It felt like gloom was sitting on his chest, heavy and cold. 

Sebastian was by his side. They were walking to do an interview, steps in sync. Anthony remembered hearing somewhere that the way two people walked next to each other, how they matched each other’s pace - it could tell you how close they were. 

Anthony glanced down at their footsteps, moving together like parallel heartbeats. He swallowed. He needed to stop reading into mythical, psychological tells. 

Sebastian looked even more miserable than him. “I hate this,” he said quietly.

“Even the winter soldier’s not a fan of the chill?” 

“No.” Sebastian tucked his chin into the collar of his sweater. “It makes me feel sleepy.”

Seb did look sleepier than usual. More worn out, like even his disgusting black coffee no longer sufficed. His hair looked barely combed out, and Anthony impulsive reached out to straighten it. Sebastian leaned into the touch. “That feels good,” he said, voice scratchy. 

“It doesn’t look like you’ve been well,” Anthony said. He tried to keep the concern out of his voice. 

“I’ve been -” Sebastian paused. “Fine. Just overworked.” He looked accusingly at Anthony. “You don’t look well either.”

Anthony let out a dry chuckle. “Hey. There’s no denial here. But you’re more…”

“What? Fragile?” Sebastian laughed. 

“No. You’re more likely to shut yourself in a hotel room and never speak to another human being in your free time.”

Sebastian huffed, but a smile edged onto his weary expression. “I’m dealing,” he said, voice a notch softer. “Thanks for asking.” 

Their eyes flicked to each other, and Anthony was sucked in by the totality of the blueness. He snapped out of it, but Sebastian must have been distracted, because he stumbled on a branch. Immediately, Anthony’s hand reached out, grabbed his arm and steadied him. 

“Careful,” Anthony said, hand still on Sebastian’s back. “Can’t let the winter soldier injure himself. You’ve got too many contracts left.” 

Sebastian snickered, and Anthony hated that he had to disguise his concern so that it would be more palatable. They walked the rest of the way mostly in silence. Sebastian seemed withdrawn in his own world, the way he often was. Quiet. Unreadable. 

Anthony wondered if this was why he had these strange feelings. They had spent so much time touring together, seeing each other at their most exhausted points. Seeing each other struggle to make it through another day. It was hard not to feel a kind of unrestrained connection. 

They understood each other. Platonic understanding, maybe, but the fondness felt too full and whole, and Anthony struggled to see the platonic in it, especially when Sebastian’s hand brushed his own. 

The weather was too cold and Anthony was too tired to fight it. Maybe his feelings for Sebastian were a little bit romantic. 

Just a little bit of a crush. 

Anthony couldn’t play mental gymnastics today, and he let the admission settle heavily over his heart.

* * *

Maybe it was because Sebastian had the audacity to _giggle._ He did this half-laugh, half-giggle, mouth open with some kind of Evans-esque expression that Anthony couldn’t help but blink twice at. 

Was the man human or did God send him down to turn Anthony gay?

“They say that babies who learn to walk early don't learn to talk until much later. And vice versa." Sebastian sipped a beer.

They were curled up on Anthony’s bed in another hotel room, curtains drawn, lights dim. The TV screen flashed a commercial about diapers, and Anthony let his hand wander to Sebastian’s head, drawing light circles in his hair. 

“Which one did you learn to do first?” Sebastian asked. 

Anthony scoffed. “Obviously both. I’m not some mediocre, ordinary baby.”

Sebastian - there it was - _giggled,_ turning his head against Anthony’s shoulder. “I thought you would have learned to fly first, Bird Man.”

Anthony smirked into Sebastian’s head. “I was a baby of many talents.”

Sebastian laughed again. 

Sebastian always laughed at Anthony’s jokes, off the press and on the press. It made Anthony feel a flush of pride. He loved making Sebastian laugh. And he loved the way Sebastian made him laugh, too. 

Most of the time, Anthony was the entertainer. But with Sebastian, as quiet as he was, there was always a clever, unexpected quip that had Anthony reeling. Again, Anthony thought, Sebastian curled up against his side: The man was not human.

Anthony was aware of the fact that his hand was still stroking Sebastian’s hair. He was also aware of Sebastian’s contented little sighs. 

“You know,” Sebastian said. His voice vibrated quietly against Anthony’s chest. “I keep trying to snapshot these moments.”

Anthony’s hand paused in his hair. “Yeah? What do you mean?” 

“Like, all of this. I’m so exhausted, but I’m not going to see you again for… at least a year or two after the press tour is done.”

“We text, though.”

“But it’s not the same. Sometimes I’m just sitting here with you, and I can’t help but think - god, this is perfect. I could die happy. And I try to capture all of the details.”

Anthony’s heart stammered. He couldn’t breathe, the words so soft and vulnerable. His throat felt like it was choking him, and he knew if he made eye contact with Sebastian, he would do something absolutely stupid like kiss him. 

He kept his eyes on the threads of the blanket. He tried to find his voice around the thickness in his mouth. “Yeah. Does it make you sad?” He cleared his throat. “You sound a little sad.”

Sebastian paused. “Bittersweet, I guess.” He glanced up, and Anthony finally made eye contact. He wasn’t sure if he imagined the light sheen in Seb’s eyes. “I just don’t want us to stop being friends after everything is over.”

_Oh._ Anthony’s heart couldn’t take this. 

He kept saying Sebastian wasn’t human, but sometimes Sebastian was the most painfully human person alive, laying out all of his fears and vulnerabilities out into the open.

Anthony didn’t know how to reassure him. How to tell him: _we won’t stop being friends, because I think I might be in love with you._ He settled for kissing his hairline gently, and said, “If Marvel stops making movies, we’ll direct our own.”

Sebastian grinned, a little too bashfully eager, and Anthony thought, _yeah. Too human._

* * *

It was 5 am. The world was crisp and quiet, sky still dark purple, only just beginning to wake. 

They were in a cab, Sebastian pressed on the opposite side, eyes focused on the window. An empty coffee cup was crumpled in his hand.

Anthony had made a decision last night. He was going to confront Sebastian today. He took a shuttering breath, tapping his fingers against his thighs. 

He could still remember Sebastian's words from the night before, curled up in the hotel bed. _This is perfect. I could die happy._ Anthony glanced over at him, then dove his gaze back to the ground. It had made Anthony wonder if Sebastian wanted him as much as Anthony apparently wanted Sebastian. 

The realization of his _I’m in love with Sebastian_ hadn’t shook him, really. He’d always known it in the back of his mind. The little ways he spoke _I love you_ to Sebastian were endless. Maybe he’d been confused about what it was - platonic, romantic, something else entirely?

But he’d known the love was there. So full and sincere. And maybe it could only be described as wanting to spend every moment with Seb, wanting to make him laugh, wanting to take care of him, wanting to hear his voice for hours. Wanting to tease him and meet his eyes during interviews. 

Wanting to touch him, not because he was a man or a woman, but because he was Sebastian.

The cab turned a corner. The first rays of sunlight peered over the edge of the world, honeyed and stealthy. 

Anthony scooched over, until his thigh pressed up against Sebastian’s. He felt him stiffen, then glance over with a soft, tired smile. “Hey, Mackie.”

“Seabass,” Anthony said. “Have you been…” He swallowed the lump around his throat, suddenly nervous. His nails dug into his palms. He had to spit it out. “Have you been giving me… signs?”

Sebastian froze, and tightened his hands around his crumpled cup. His eyes shot up to him. “I-” He looked away rapidly. “What do you mean?”

“You know... bro-boundaries? All of those winks? Curling up in my bed?” Anthony’s heart pounded. This could go so horribly wrong. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t keep himself in the dark anymore. 

Sebastian looked caught, like a deer in headlights. His face flushed warmly. The cab driver seemed oblivious, pausing as traffic stilled at a red. 

Words seemed to escape Sebastian for a moment. Anthony kept waiting for a weird look, or a platonic mood-lightener. But he only got Sebastian licking his lips, trying to form a suitable explanation. 

Finally, he said the words: “I just want to be with you.”

Anthony’s stomach did a flip. He felt dizzy. “What does that mean, Seb… sweetheart?” He added the sweetheart on impulse, soft-spoken. Maybe it would give Sebastian a nudge. A sign from Anthony to him, this time. 

Sebastian trailed a nervous hand to Anthony’s, and clasped it. His hands were cold. He cleared his throat. “I want us to be together.” His voice broke. “I don’t know what that means. I just want us to be together all the time. Forever.”

Anthony’s heart whooshed out from underneath him. A flurry of emotions, mostly relief, then lightheaded ecstasy. 

The traffic light turned green. The cab moved forward. This time, the signs were crystal clear. 

Anthony reached for Sebastian’s hip. “I wouldn’t mind that at all." He kissed him on the side of the head, and heard Sebastian’s shaky exhale. Yeah. This was what he had been searching for. "Wouldn't mind at all."

Anthony would never mind when it came to Seb.

**THE END.**

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if the ending feels a little bit abrupt. I was actually challenging myself to write a fic in the 3k ballpark, so I couldn't keep drawing it out. If I went free reign, I could probably write 20k fluff of these two boys lol. Their chemistry is crazy.


End file.
